I remember those days when I was a kid, and had my grandparents around me. What I remember now are the good memories of those days with them. These are memories of many events. Memories when I managed to hide behind them after doing naughty things. When they pampered me and fulfilled my demands. Off course those demands where as simple as buying a chocolate. Sometimes they surprised me by bringing a set of new clothes for a festival. When I went for a walk in farms with my grandfather, and he showed me different types of birds. My grandmother’s simple but very profound tips still shape my habits. So many things are there. When I try to recollect them now, I see they making my childhood a very special by their simple presence.
If I look at these events, whatever I can recollect, and try to analyze these events now, I can see importance of presence of grandparents clearly in a child’s life. I can confidently say that I and all those who get company of grandfather and or grandmother can be definitely called lucky. Now when I analyze these memories, I try to look at it as an independent person. It can be a third person’s view. It is not only the events that occurred with me are contributing to this analysis, but whatever company my child is enjoying with her granny and grandpa are also observed. I am finding these inferences really interesting. Hence thought of sharing those observations and bit of thinking on those with you.
They are Emotional Need of Each Other
Both the parties, mean the grand children and grandparents, they are emotional need of each other. If I say, on many emotional fronts they match mental age, you may not agree with me immediately. But just try to observe them closely. People above 60 appear as if they are starting their childhood. Kind of things they find interesting. If we get bit deeper, they are retired; their career needs are mostly fulfilled. Their romantic needs are also hardly left. They just want to live their life as much as possible. They want to live every second of their life. Does it not match with children below teen (even teenagers)? Very young children also don’t have career thinking; they are too young to be romantic. They just want to have fun with each minute, each second of their life. When these two similar personalities come together, they just gel well and have fun. If it is playing some game, children will enjoy but grandparents will just get their childhood back and enjoy like children equally. I have observed this not only with people close to me, but when I go to garden, and see a grandfather or grandmother with their grandchildren playing there, it is only their physical ability, which becomes some kind of obstacle. Otherwise they are just at same age. They share the joy of activity without any boundaries.
One thing that all parents will agree is ‘grandparents have more experience,’ and I can also say better experience of taking care of children. If we can say that ‘we ourselves are a good product’, then the credit goes to our parents and grandparents. Hence when the question of nurturing children well comes, we can say that our parents are better in that. This experience can prove a very good benefit to our children. Due to this experience, they can devise better techniques of teaching children small but long term personality shaping things. It may be that if we want to ask children to organize their room properly, we shoot an order. We even end up punishing children sometimes for not doing it. But they may come up with a story on same situation, which will encourage children to do the task immediately. Children doing things on own also guaranties quality. This is just an example, they have many such things in their box.
How much do we have? How long can we tolerate tantrum of children? What if we are already stressed and children start persisting on something? Do we keep struggling with our anger when children show their naughty behavior? I would say many of us would answer above questions affirmative to conclude that we have less patience. My observation is otherwise in case of grandparents. Especially when they are with children, and children are doing all sort of things that can make one angry, grandparents manage to stay calm. There can be many reasons behind this, but the main reason may be that by this time they have understood that children are going to behave like this only. Once this is accepted, then there is no question of getting angry, and that is why they tend to remain calm. It definitely helps children. Someone is not getting angry with whatever they are doing, but is intelligent or I would say smart enough to manage the situation, does make children feel good.
If we have free time, no special career goal pulling us, we just relax and do things in leisure. Same thing is with grandparents, who are mostly retired, and may not have any special career goal to achieve. They want to kill the time. You might have heard retired people saying, “I am going to get bored after retirement”. Children fill this free time with their presence. They can spend hours with children, get completely involved in small small activities. This emptiness in their life is filled with our bundle of joy. But definitely it is not only grandparents who only get benefited; children also get a friend who joins them in all their activities.
Another most important thing that both grandparents and grandchildren do to each other is taking care. When children are playing, going out with them, they ensure that children are safe. Children also start doing same thing with elderly grandparents. Children, bit grown up do help in those things which elderly people many times struggle to do. Children learn respect and taking care of elders in home itself.s
When children stay with grandparents just for few days, a strong bond gets created. This is not a bond of relation, but it is a bond of pure love. They become friends, they start caring for each other, laugh, and share joy. If children start crying, grandparents are the first to hug them and console them. They have far different techniques to pacify crying children. They get absolutely attached to each other. I have even seen children crying and getting bored if grandparents are not there in the house in the evening or night. They keep on waiting until they hear some news, or see physical presence.
It can be dropping them to school, taking them to garden, doing homework, taking care during children’s sickness, resolving quarrels amongst siblings, and so many things get different meaning if children are with grandparents. When working parents cannot give time to children, grandparents make their childhood complete, and so do children, vice versa. It is only love love and love amongst them.
I know it may not be possible for all to have grandparents together, but if possible, why not bring entire family together and let all of them be happy. A vital combination, children and grandparents works most of the times.