You are calling name of your child, child is standing just a couple of feet away and not saying ‘yes’ to your call. What do you call this – children turning deaf ear to parents? Another scene, child is watching TV and you are calling from kitchen. Same result, no response. Now a days, new gadgets, something on which child is playing some game, it may be mobile, tab, laptop, or any other game gadget. You keep on calling, and child just does not pay attention to your call. Isn’t it a familiar scene? Is it not an incident that occurs every alternate day? Some of us face this daily, few times a day. How do you feel? Does it not make you feel irritated, frustrated? Then what do you do to attract attention of child?
Keep calling out name louder and louder? Get angry? Go and attract attention by holding hand of child and saying “I am calling you for past 10 minutes”? Or sometimes end up punishing your child? Is it a happy scene? No, isn’t it? But have you thought what is reason behind this behavior, and how can you solve this problem? It cannot be something a rocket science. It is just as simple as saying it childlike solution. Why not? If children are involved in the situation (I will not call it a problem), then solution has to be very simple and a solution of common sense. Let us see how.
Did we make it habit to respond to each call immediately? Each call from child? Yes, when child calls us, do we say yes immediately, or even take pain to walk up to the child, and check why child is calling? Instead of this, is the scene also similar? You are talking to someone, or doing some work and child keeps on calling, yelling and even coming and shaking your hand to get same response? How do you expect child to behave differently? If we change habit of ourselves, and respond immediately to child’s call, even if you are busy, you ask child to wait for some time because you are busy, will it not be an example in front of child? Yes! Definitely!! Children just imitate what we do, if since very younger age, we start becoming an example with correct behavior, child is going to repeat same.
Any idea, how to solve this problem, get attention of child? I would think very simple and basic. A solution that will work for children of all ages (It will work for elders also, just give a try). Where do children pay attention? We can take examples of children of all ages. A child, few days old, gets attracted to sound. Children bit older get attracted to sound and moving things. Similarly children get attracted to bright colors, cartoons, toys, and so on. At different ages, there are different things that draw children’s attention quickly. What is conclusion? Children get attracted to interesting things from their point of view. Let us use this as solution to our requirement. We do something, we say something, we play something, we make some sound that child will find interesting.
Yes! It is not that child is not listening to our name call out, but not finding it interesting to respond unless there is habit to do so. Hence child’s eyes remain glued to something else, ears listen to us and ignore. What if we say something interesting and child just throws whatever she is busy with and responds to the call. Ok, ensure we are not saying a lie. Use something interesting.
Let us take an example. Child is watching TV. You want to make child run into kitchen. You call couple of times and no response. We open a box of favorite cookies and by looking at half-filled box and say so many cookies finished? Who ate all these? I have seen child running into kitchen because it is question of his/her favorite cookie.
In short, let us apply little bit common sense and experience of child, find out an interesting thing and let the information fall on child’s ear. You will find instead of children turning deaf ear to parents, actually responding immediately. Give a try and see the magic. Save yourself and child from anger and frustration.