Handling Child Refusal to Go to School

You may ask, what is big deal? Most of the children say no to school at the beginning. They want to stay with parents which is refusal to go to school. But here, I am not talking about children saying no to school when they first time go to school, during very very early days of school. But when there is refusal to go to school suddenly, after happily going to school for few days or months. This scenarios is when children are not happy when we ask them to go to school, even though it has been routine for few days/months. Then it is must to look into the reason behind. This is can not be just let to go. Let us see what all can be possible..

Why is Refusal to Go to School in Children?

If it is once a while, then one can definitely ignore. But if a child says no continuously for few days, then it is better to find out what is exactly behind it. There are many possibilities. It can be as simple as child is not enjoying the environment of school. It can be as serious as there is some serious trouble to kid. Real challenge is that children may not tell the exact reason quickly. We need to be smart enough to dig it out. There are many possibilities, children may not like school environment, class, teacher, or there may be someone who is troubling them, hurting them, bullying them. It may be happening during travel, during off time in school, during class etc. We have to find out this trouble without interrogating child, without hurting feelings of child.

Refusal to Go To School

How to Find out Reason Behind Children’s Denial to Go to School?

Sometimes children come and tell it immediately – “I don’t want to go to school because of this this reason”. Sometimes they take time to open up. E.g. some children share what happened in school with mom only when they are alone, playing with mom, etc. If not then you may have to create such environment and use some technique e.g. elimination technique to reach to the root. What is this technique and how does it work?

Effective Technique to Find Out Cause Behind Children’s no To School

When child says “I don’t want to go to school,” one can say, what if I come and drop you and pick up you? If child agrees then there is some problem with transport facility, we can narrow down to it. Something is going wrong there and we can go further and find it out by discussing with kid’s friends etc.. This is just possibility. We may have to explore further. But make sure you are not asking all these questions in one go. While discussing on some other topic, one can propose such options. If child still says no, then one can say – what if I ask school authority to change your class? It may not be that they agree then and there, we may have to observe their facial expressions and body language. Similarly we can eliminate teacher, friends, bus service people, and so on. It can also be the curriculum/course selected. As a parent, we have to find out the problem.

Fixing Children’s Problem in Going To School

Once we are sure of problem, we can fix it by different means. There are many alternatives available on case to case basis. But sometimes we may not get clear answer, then the only option we are left with is, trial and error method. Give a try to the probable options, and observe change in behaviour of kid. If kid gets happy again while going to school, you got the trick. Otherwise try the next one.

I am not saying, one should take such refusal from child to go to school very very seriously, but it is not something we just ignore. Hence strike the balance and make the child happy while going to school and during the school time. An unhappy child will hardly learn anything in school.

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